God made it clear in the Ten Commandments that he doesn't want us to lie. But do you really think he was serious about not lying to children? If so, how come he makes it so easy and funny to lie to kids? I'm not even referring to the obligatory lies like the Toothfairy and the stork. I'm talking about convincing kids of flat-out falsities just for kicks and giggles.
I usually don't set out to lie to children, but sometimes when I sense a particularly naive one, well... I just can't help it. My 8-year-old cousin is a perfect example. He just makes it too easy. A few years ago, Alex legitimately believed with his whole heart that his uncle came to this country from Cuba on the back of a bull shark. Can't make this stuff up, people. Just within the past month, I have convinced him that I only brush my teeth once a week and that Justin Bieber is a convicted felon. Oh, and I may or may not be responsible for him singing along to Rihanna's "We Found Love" replacing the lyrics with "we found love in a homeless place."
Why, Chelsea? Why do you find joy in fibbing to children? Oh, I'll tell you why. I was once the victim of such psychological abuse. When I was about 6, my aunt convinced me that I was hatched from a chicken egg. During that same timeframe, she had me believing that I had a rare genetic disorder called "the green tongue disease." It's a vicious cycle, y'all.
